Main  Contacts  
Table of contents
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.1
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.2
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.3
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.4
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.5
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.6
FOOTNOTES
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.1
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.2
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.3
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.4
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.5
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.6
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.7
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.8
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.9
MARRIAGE-10.1
MARRIAGE-10.2
MARRIAGE-10.3
MARRIAGE-10.4
MARRIAGE-10.5
MARRIAGE-10.6
MARRIAGE-10.7
MARRIAGE-10.8
MARRIAGE-10.9
MARRIAGE-10.10
MARRIAGE-10.11
MARRIAGE-10.12
FOOTNOTES
THE ART OF LOVE-11.1
THE ART OF LOVE-11.2
THE ART OF LOVE-11.3
THE ART OF LOVE-11.4
THE ART OF LOVE-11.5
THE ART OF LOVE-11.6
THE ART OF LOVE-11.7
THE ART OF LOVE-11.8
THE ART OF LOVE-11.9
THE ART OF LOVE-11.10
THE ART OF LOVE-11.11
FOOTNOTES
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.1
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.2
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.3
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.4
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.5
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.6
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.7
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.8
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.9
FOOTNOTES
INDEX OF AUTHORS

year to year without the thought sometimes coming to her: 'Why 

does he never kiss me? Have I no charm for him?' And in the most 

concealed corner of her heart will it not happen that she uses 

that word 'kiss' in the more comprehensive sense in which the 

French sometimes employ it?" There is undoubtedly an element of 

truth in this statement. The frontier between erotic love and 

friendship is vague, and an intimate psychic intercourse that is 

sternly debarred from ever manifesting itself in a caress, or 

other physical manifestation of tender intimacy, tends to be 

constrained, and arouses unspoken and unspeakable thoughts and 

desires which are fatal to any complete friendship. 

 

Undoubtedly the only perfect "Platonic friendships" are those which have 

been reached through the portal of a preliminary erotic intimacy. In such 

a case bad lovers, when they have resolutely traversed the erotic stage, 

may become exceedingly good friends. A satisfactory friendship is 

possible between brother and sister because they have been physically 

intimate in childhood, and all erotic curiosities are absent. The most 

admirable "Platonic friendship" may often be attained by husband and wife 

in whom sympathy and affection and common interests have outlived passion. 

In nearly all the most famous friendships of distinguished men and 

women--as we know in some cases and divine in others--an hour's passion, 

in Sainte-Beuve's words, has served as the golden key to unlock the most 

precious and intimate secrets of friendship.[419] 

 

The friendships that have been entered through the erotic portal possess 

an intimacy and retain a spiritually erotic character which could not be 

attained on the basis of a normal friendship between persons of the same 

sex. This is true in a far higher degree of the ultimate relationship, 

under fortunate circumstances, of husband and wife in the years after 

passion has become impossible. They have ceased to be passionate lovers 

but they have not become mere friends and comrades. More especially their 

relationship takes on elements borrowed from the attitude of child to 

parent, of parent to child. Everyone from his first years retains 

something of the child which cannot be revealed to all the world; everyone 

acquires something of the guardian paternal or maternal spirit. Husband 

and wife are each child to the other, and are indeed parent and child by 

turn. And here still the woman retains a certain erotic supremacy, for she 

is to the last more of a child than it is ever easy for the man to be, and 

much more essentially a mother than he is a father. 

 

Groos (_Der AEsthetische Genuss_, p. 249) has pointed out that 

"love" is really made up of both sexual instinct and parental 

instinct. 

 

"So-called happy marriages," says Professor W. Thomas (_Sex and 

Society_, p. 246), "represent an equilibrium reached through an 

extension of the maternal interest of the woman to the man, 

whereby she looks after his personal needs as she does after 

those of the children--cherishing him, in fact, as a child--or 

in an extension to woman on the part of man of the nurture and 

affection which is in his nature to give to pets and all helpless 

(and preferably dumb) creatures." 

 

"When the devotion in the tie between mother and son," a woman 

writes, "is added to the relation of husband and wife, the union 

of marriage is raised to the high and beautiful dignity it 

deserves, and can attain in this world. It comprehends sympathy, 

love, and perfect understanding, even of the faults and 


Page 3 from 5:  Back   1   2  [3]  4   5   Forward