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Table of contents
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.1
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.2
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.3
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.4
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.5
THE CONQUEST OF THE VENEREAL DISEASES-8.6
FOOTNOTES
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.1
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.2
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.3
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.4
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.5
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.6
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.7
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.8
SEXUAL MORALITY-9.9
MARRIAGE-10.1
MARRIAGE-10.2
MARRIAGE-10.3
MARRIAGE-10.4
MARRIAGE-10.5
MARRIAGE-10.6
MARRIAGE-10.7
MARRIAGE-10.8
MARRIAGE-10.9
MARRIAGE-10.10
MARRIAGE-10.11
MARRIAGE-10.12
FOOTNOTES
THE ART OF LOVE-11.1
THE ART OF LOVE-11.2
THE ART OF LOVE-11.3
THE ART OF LOVE-11.4
THE ART OF LOVE-11.5
THE ART OF LOVE-11.6
THE ART OF LOVE-11.7
THE ART OF LOVE-11.8
THE ART OF LOVE-11.9
THE ART OF LOVE-11.10
THE ART OF LOVE-11.11
FOOTNOTES
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.1
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.2
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.3
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.4
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.5
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.6
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.7
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.8
THE SCIENCE OF PROCREATION-12.9
FOOTNOTES
INDEX OF AUTHORS

the erotic part of her life. But it cannot be said that either of these 

two groups of men has been well equipped for the task. The training and 

experience which a man receives from a prostitute, even under fairly 

favorable conditions, scarcely form the right preparation for approaching 

a woman of his own class who has no intimate erotic experiences.[384] The 

frequent result is that he is liable to waver between two opposite courses 

of action, both of them mistaken. On the one hand, he may treat his bride 

as a prostitute, or as a novice to be speedily moulded into the sexual 

shape he is most accustomed to, thus running the risk either of perverting 

or of disgusting her. On the other hand, realizing that the purity and 

dignity of his bride place her in an altogether different class from the 

women he has previously known, he may go to the opposite extreme of 

treating her with an exaggerated respect, and so fail either to arouse or 

to gratify her erotic needs. It is difficult to say which of these two 

courses of action is the more unfortunate; the result of both, however, is 

frequently found to be that a nominal marriage never becomes a real 

marriage.[385] 

 

Yet there can be no doubt whatever that the other group of men, the men 

who enter marriage without any erotic experiences, run even greater risks. 

These are often the best of men, both as regards personal character and 

mental power. It is indeed astonishing to find how ignorant, both 

practically and theoretically, very able and highly educated men may be 

concerning sexual matters. 

 

"Complete abstinence during youth," says Freud (_Sexual-Probleme_, 

March, 1908), "is not the best preparation for marriage in 

a young man. Women divine this and prefer those of their 

wooers who have already proved themselves to be men with 

other women." Ellen Key, referring to the demand sometimes made 

by women for purity in men (_Ueber Liebe und Ehe_, p. 96), asks 

whether women realize the effect of their admiration of the 

experienced and confident man who knows women, on the shy and 

hesitating youth, "who perhaps has been struggling hard for his 

erotic purity, in the hope that a woman's happy smile will be the 

reward of his conquest, and who is condemned to see how that 

woman looks down on him with lofty compassion and gazes with 

admiration at the leopard's spots." When the lover, in Laura 

Marholm's _Was war es_? says to the heroine, "I have never yet 

touched a woman," the girl "turns from him with horror, and it 

seemed to her that a cold shudder went through her, a chilling 

deception." The same feeling is manifested in an exaggerated form 

in the passion often experienced by vigorous girls of eighteen to 

twenty-four for old roues. (This has been discussed by Forel, 

_Die Sexuelle Frage_, pp. 217 et seq.) 

 

Other factors may enter in a woman's preference for the man who 

has conquered other women. Even the most religious and moral 

young woman, Valera remarks (_Dona Luz_, p. 205), likes to marry 

a man who has loved many women; it gives a greater value to his 

choice of her; it also offers her an opportunity of converting 

him to higher ideals. No doubt when the inexperienced man meets 

in marriage the equally inexperienced woman they often succeed in 

adapting themselves to each other and a permanent _modus vivendi_ 

is constituted. But it is by no means so always. If the wife is 

taught by instinct or experience she is apt to resent the 

awkwardness and helplessness of her husband in the art of love. 

Even if she is ignorant she may be permanently alienated and 


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